i’d really like your thoughts on something but first, a wee update. life got annoyingly life-like recently, hence lack of bloggy goodness…between the ongoing tension headache stuff and the coordinating transcontinental property transfers and the generally being insane, running my own business thing and my mother being in hospital this week it’s all a bit exciting around here. i am le tired.
thank you (!) to those who sent kind wishes re: my neurospastic brain. it seems to have stabilised, for the moment though tension headaches abound so very likely gonna need to see an actual doctor about that at some point. acupuncture maybe? hrm.
also, came to mind, funny how many of us over the rainbow types seem to get weird neuro events like migraines. not my point today…
But have been pondering Psych-flavoured things, never fear.
A Taoist story tells of an old man who accidentally fell into the river rapids leading to a high and dangerous waterfall. Onlookers feared for his life. Miraculously, he came out alive and unharmed downstream at the bottom of the falls. People asked him how he managed to survive. “I accommodated myself to the water, not the water to me. Without thinking, I allowed myself to be shaped by it. Plunging into the swirl, I came out with the swirl. This is how I survived.”
any thoughts?
because for me, the first thing that sprang to mind was PTSD. but of course.
somehow i couldn’t help feeling that this particular metaphor felt so right for us, for the survival instincts we use, somehow, some unfathomable distance from the selves we thought we knew so well…
not a cell untouched.
perhaps the before and after images we have around our identities because of the trauma aren’t quite as distinct as they might first appear to be?
perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. it felt like the image reached that well beyond words. you know the one. that well that those of us who have gotten through it can only describe in halting steps and intense dilemmas, paused and paused again. but which we know so intimately as to travel with it, constant companions, beyond all present notion or past belief. it filters through us… like daylight through the curtains, even though they’re closed.
The first thing that sprang to my mind was a real event that I remember well from some years ago. A baby who was old enough to sit up but not to crawl or walk was sitting on the floor while watchful adults sat around and talked. The baby fell over, quite slowly really, but too quickly for any of us to reach him in time. His head struck the marble fireplace and there was an audible crack. As he struggled to sit up, he was laughing. A chunk of marble had been broken off.
I don’t know what that says about PTSD, except perhaps that trauma is what you make of it.
ha. i remember my niece did a similar thing recently. resilience, and laughter. yes! these things, well, i know none of us could do without.
Yes, yes, yes, ck!
Must ponder … more later.
xo
Hi CK,
But isn’t the problem with PTSD that we did accommodate ourselves to a trauma, but now that the trauma is in the past, we are still bent out of shape as if it was still here in the present?
Ah, says the wise sage :-) , but now you again need to shift your shape to accommodate the present, where it is safe…
Which is hard to do.
Yes, I can see how your story applies.
Cheers
I think that Taoist story is a metaphor for life in general – that’s what I saw when I read it. That was cool – thanks for posting it!
I too think it is a general metaphor for life, the first thought i had was how drunks survive devastating car crashes because their reflexes arent quick enough for them to tense up…the second thought i had is when you go with the flow the rides a lot smoother, i know it isnt what you were looking for but thats my 2 cents :)
p.s. i think i used a different email to login??, its still me
@Coyote @jerry nah. that’s exactly what i was looking for. i think it’s about life and everything but for me of course PTSD is so much of what i deal with that i look how it applies there first.
flow is definitely what i thought of, though. a beautiful friend of mine has a saying we remind each other about that: we try to be “ego-less and soul-ly”.
First up… whoah, re: multiple life chaotic occurences. Didn’t the universe take note that you were dealing with a nasty migraine *mumbles and fires off a memo*
That Taoist story means I have to share with you what my guru calls “Water logic”. This is exactly what it sounds like to me. Following the path of least resistance and simply allowing what is, to be. No need to try and imagine things are another way. Be with what is, as it is, and guess what? You can survive…
So, maybe relating to PTSD too. But its not just about “survival mode”, rather, one has to think of how different life would be if we would simply melt like water around things we perceive as objects in our way. Problems. Stresses. Yeah… life with water logic (if we can make the leap from the square world to the round world) is so smooth. Been there a few times I have, just a little. I think anyway. And its nice in there!
EXCEPT I think with PTSD, we carry all the water with us. Like, we collect water bags. So we flow down the river, but we get stuck in a whirlpool, snagged on something and we keep taking on water.
Just a few thoughts… glad you’re better-ish (I hope?!). Can’t wait til December! :D
The first thing I thought of was a little religious tale (though I’m not religious) about a man in a flood who believes God will help him. I can’t remember all the details but I think along comes a fireman (or something) to help him – he says, “no, god will help me.” Along comes a helicopter, blah blah blah… anyway, the man drowns and when he gets to the pearly gates he says, “God, why have you forsaken me?” To which God replies, “For heaven’s sake man, I sent you a fireman, a helicopter… ” blah blah blah.
Anyway, this has nothing to do with your Taoist tale. I agree with Ellen that we accommodate ourselves to a trauma, are still bent out of shape and need to shift to accommodate the present.
Yes, this is hard to do. Going with the flow is hard for some of us.
i believe the man became one with what had swallowed him up.
he didn’t fight it and as we need two opposing forces to create fricton – he had nothing to fight.
without struggle there is no fight, just acceptance.
in our lives we create conflict by not accepting others, by being close minded and judgemental.
the guy got it right, he didn’t view the water as an enemy. he used it as a vessel to carry him into an experience.
become one with the universe.