Why do they call it a Fortune cookie if there are only ever positive statements inside? It’s not a good Fortune cookie.
I vote for sarcastic philosophy cookies. Sugary morsels of delightful derision and conveniently packaged caprice.
I’m just saying.
Meanwhile, it’s 4:39am and I’m Awake. zombie-like (Roar… did i scare ya?) but awake.
remind me not to eat ice cream. apparently it now sends me into Unconscious paroxysms of guilt. so, good thing i went for the low-fat kind, hey. i dreamt of being stuck at an endless feast where nobody would shut up about my weight. judge, judge, judge. me, the Witness and the Accused. oddly familiar except fucking surreal –
mountains of cake and those scary, tiny hors d’œuvre sandwiches which need nibbling rather than biting because if you bite them you discover they’ve about as much substance as blue Egyptian fairy floss (which they now sell in the Fruit & Veg at 1000% mark-up. impressive branding there, must admit).
but when your paediatrician and your aunt’s fifth daughter’s second husband keep stealing tucker bags full of said sandwiches to eat in the pool, it’s strange. and you begin to worry when they invite you to stay for the Tea Party.
i hate it when people watch me in my dreams. can’t i just be invisible? it’s only in nightmares that i’m not.
Hmm like the idea of sarcastic philosophy cookies! Would be so much more interesting! Is this working yet as in can you get in??x
I was awake around 4am, but my cosy flannelette sheets said “No, don’t get up, we’ll keep you warm”. So I got to stay that way til 6.30am.
Sarcastic fortune cookies, eh? Like, “You’ll meet someone who brings you great joy in the next six months… if you can get off your ass and go mingle!” ;)
I find it very annoying now, how eating a bucketload of icecream just makes me feel ill now…
No weird dreams this morning but yesterday was a different story. The vivid, real kind (as opposed to your Mad Hatter’s Tea Party) where people I know and I are doing stuff, but in a very surreal kind of way.
Hope your day is a little more restful than your sleep!!
HA! I agree 100%.. I’m all for the sarcasm..
If you’re gonna dream you should atleast be able to be invisible.. It’s your right..
I was wide awake at 4am too. I was awake at 8am too.. I’ve had 2 hours of sleep today(not last night). I can’t tell you the last time I slept at night. Its been well over a week. Maybe longer. And its starting to show. More and more irritable. I broke down and called the shrink. I go in next week.. ahh.. the days!
Please tell me, you did not get that fortune in the picture of the fortune cookie that you posted. I saw that and had to run the to WC from laughing so hard! But you know, if they put reality messages ie the sarcastic ones in fortune cookies, then they’d fuck them up like they did with M&M’s and Fruit Loops and and and Peeps coloring them or sticking marshmellows in them! WTF is it with colors and the marketing people who think up this shit? Blue and purple Peeps! ughhhh what WERE they thinking or were they just off their meds that day?
And here’s something else I want to know….. why do people put those fricking bean sprouts on those tasteless hors d’œuvre sandwhiches? Cute about the fairy floss. They stick between your teeth, your lip and taste disgusting. Another bright marketing idea….”let’s get people to eat weeds and think that it’s good for them” . Ya, right up there with that other shit…tofu. Give me a nice loaf of bread, good cheese, nice fruity wine…..and stop trying to make me think that other shit is what I really want.
Now, that I have that off my chest. The invasion of people in my dreams. OMGoshhh CK, I thought I was the only mental case that had people fucking with my dreams when I was sleeping too? Sadly, that this happens to you also, is somewhat comforting. Sorry.
I do have a question for anyone who cares to respond…..been getting brain zaps in the morning and again just before I go to bed. I thought at first it was a warning that either someone was or would be in fucking with my dreams. Then I got to wonder if it’s to much medication or perhaps to little. Thoughts?
So you should start the bad fortune cookie. I could probably think those up all day.
I meditate almost every day & no brain zaps. I can’t help but think of electroconvulsive therapy when you say that.
Well, ya there’s that (electroshock therapy) too. But, not exactly the brain zaps I’m getting. hmmmm let me try to explain better here……
ok, if you have had to step up or down on meds, usually, down, the zzzzzzzzzzz you get every now and again while detoxing.
or
like your brain getting the zzzzzzz like when you touch an electric fence…..so ya, I guess it would be like electroshock or electroconvulsive therapy…… frightening….
I don’t get brain zaps exactly but I’m on high dose of SSRI and recently I seem to be twitching a lot, little muscle spasms and, somewhat perturbing, the odd heart shock. It’s when I’m trying to sleep and my heart is slowing down etc and then suddenly Bam! I get a pulse that jars me awake a bit like an involuntary limb reflex. weird.
Sounds like you’ve got a new career path, SPC (Sarcastic Philosophy Cookie) Writer!
I’ve never had the pleasure of a fortune cookie – I remember a scene in Mickey Blue Eyes involving Hugh Grant, a fortune cookie and a rather irate chinese waitress.
I can’t sleep for shit at the moment so I’m getting a lot of those eyes open at 4am moments. I think about blogging sometimes, but I feel naughty at that hour, as if it’s too stimulating and will keep me up longer. The good advice of the sleep people (?) echoes around my head: okay, you’re awake. if you are still awake in 15 minutes get up and do something boring, make a drink, read something non-stimulating, relaxation CD etc.
I find it oddly comforting that when I’m awake during the night people on the other side of the world, such as yourself, are just getting up.