The Top Ten ways you know you’ve been in Psychoanalysis Too Long…
10. Someone says hello and you wonder what they meant by it.
9. It doesn’t feel right to change a light bulb without someone asking you how it feels.
8. You think of yourself less as a person and more as an analysand.
7. You find the thought of a serial killer behind you strangely comforting.
6. You can’t ask your partner if they had an orgasm during sex without using the phrase ‘mutually satisfactory result’.
5. Your self-esteem plummets unless someone tells you you’ve made a real breakthrough this week.
4. You start mistrusting any doctor who tells you they can cure something, or who charges under $300.00 an hour.
3. You divide daily activities into 50 minute blocks.
2. You start to really lose it if you go more than a week without being told you’re just neurotic.
And the number one way you know you’ve been in psychoanalysis too long is…
1. Someone asks you about the meaning of it all, and you say you’ll get back to them after consulting with your psychiatrist.
Hysterical. I love it.
I need to get back to you on this
Good stuff, Bradley!
LMAO Girlblue – classic.
#10 cracked me up. It’s so true for me! Thanks for this.
My pleasure, Coyote ;)
Hilarious. My psychiatrist will get a kick out of it…
LOL Janna. I was just thinking that about my therapist.
#10 for me could also mean I’m going into a paranoid phase. And I do get sick of not trusting my own thoughts, so much so that #9 also rings true for me!
Oh yeah–and I divide daily activities into tentative 30 or 60 minute blocks–aaaaaacccckkkkk!!!! I hate discovering that I’m that anal. I’ve known it for a while, actually. I’ve just been in denial about it.
I think #11 could be “you find yourself asking, what would Freud do?”
I know I’ve been in analysis just about long enough because on some days my analyst tells ME about HIS problems.
See, I have this theory that if you go long enough and the analysis is good enough, you eventually switch places.
hugs
wily
LOL Cheesemeister. Possibly followed by number 12: Wearing a ‘What Would Freud Do?’ t-shirt and matching wrist band ;)
Heehee I like that theory, wily. I also think you’ve got your own brand in wisdom going so hell, if I was your analyst I’d totally be picking your brain!
Great list!!!
G’day Dina ;) Glad you liked it!
This is seriously hysterical.
Cheers, doc!
Oh there is some classic stuff there. May favorites are #1 and #10 although you could probably make #10 #1 in my opinion ;) I laughed out loud.
Very glad you liked it, Damien =) Cheers for checking it out!
#9 and #10 crack me up, thanks for the laugh!